He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
