Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
