I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
