watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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