Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
