just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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