Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
