It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
