She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
