Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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