Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
