yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
