my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize