i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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