At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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