suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
