the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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