the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize