It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
