That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
