I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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