I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
