Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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