one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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