we have officially mastered the walk of shame
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
