Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
