We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
