pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I will pee on everything he values.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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