I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
