I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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