Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
