oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I haven't been this sober since birth.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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