Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
