i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
