I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
