You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
