Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
