So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
