You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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