omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
