oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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