i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
