Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
