a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
