The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
