Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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