I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
