wat bout pragnant strippers??
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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