I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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