WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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