But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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