are you still at the devil's house?
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
