jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
