I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
