forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
40s are totally the cure
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
