sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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