Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
