I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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