I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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