I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
