Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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