matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize