The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
