My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize