Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
