You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm bleeding and have questions
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
